If It Just Didn't Matter...

What If It Just Didn't Matter:

If it just didn't matter...
I would wear less clothing. I would dance. I would talk to everyone. I would have TONS more sex with people who I can't even SEE through my fat glasses. I would value me enough to purposefully draw attention to myself and show my gifts. I WOULD PAINT and LET OTHER PEOPLE see and compliment me! I would show off my great rack on purpose, and not worry if I was safely tucked into the cups. I would run and twirl and laugh in public even when alone. If my issues disappeared, I would date more, and have more sex, and be happy about it. I would find a profession I LOVE rather than being good and dependable at what gets me by in Santa Cruz. I would paint and create and take lovers and enlarge my family and my circle of friends. I would find a way to live a life more open and less worried and I would stop assuming that I am stuck in poverty and singlehood and open my heart more to EVERYTHING---people, places, interests. I would banish fear form my life and live a fearless, juicy, LOUD life that made me sing with joy instead of trapping me in the mundane. I would see people more clearly and assume their thoughts are positive instead of negative---I would let them show me who they REALLY are, without the automatic assumptions I imbue them with. I would make a life's work of bringing beauty and joy and self-acceptance to everyone I met.