Monday, March 16, 2009

Friends With Benefits

First, allow me to be up-front: I have had a few male FWBs.

Now, maybe it is just because I never paid attention, or maybe it is just because I really just wanted what I thought was the affection of these arrangements, but either way, I have come to some realizations recently about the state of FWB.

I do not think they are sustainable, especially if you have a strong moral and ethical fiber and actually WANT someone to grow old with at some point.

Hear me out. I have some experience here.

First, what I have come to see as the BASIC problem...men and women do NOT, AT ALL, define things the same way. The definitions are different for all of the the following terms: Friends, With, and Benefits.

Let us break it down:

Friends- Men and women do not treat their friends the same way, even without Benefits. To men, a FWB friend means he does not have to call, answer calls, remember birthdays, pretend to know a woman in public, take her anywhere at all, or tell anyone about her existence. To women, that is not ANY kind of friendship at all.